Sad Days
by Little Miss Lost
Summary: What happenes when Kate get trough some very sad days. "Jack. He died last night." Please R & R.
1. An unforesenn visitor

Well this is just something I thought you would like.

I´m german so i´m really sorry if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes. 

An unforeseen visitor

Kate was sitting in front of her computer, when she heard the doorbell. She went through the corridor to the door and opened it.

„Claire? " She asked in surprise.

„Hi, Kate. Can I come in? " The Australian said.

„Yes. Yes of course. "

Claire, who looked pretty wrecked up, made two steps inside and Kate closed the door behind her.

„So, what brings you here, Claire?" Kate wanted to know.

„Oh, Kate it's so horrible. Jack. He. He died last night."

* * *

„What?" Kate needed to grab the back of the chair, which stood in the corridor. 

„He took an overdose of drugs." Claire burst out into tears. "Why didn't he tell someone how he was feeling? We could have helped him" She said within sobs.

Still in shock Kate tried to comfort Claire, although comfort was the one thing Kate needed the most right now. „Shhh, Claire. It's okay."

When Claire was a little bit calmer Kate asked her to stay, but Claire said that she had to go and inform the others. „The funeral is next week. Saturday. Will you come?"

„Yes, of course. You can call me later and tell me exactly where and which time." Kate said.

„Okay. Goodbye Kate."

„Goodbye Claire."

* * *

When Kate had closed the door she went into the living room, shuted down her computer and tried to understand what she was just told. 

_Jack. He died last night. _

_Died last night. Died last night._

The words were repeating in her head. She looked outside in the garden. She had made it just after she moved into this little house. Finally a place to call home. At the garden were many different flowers and in the corner she had planted guavas.

-Flashback-

_Jack: „Put out your hand. __You'll like it. I swear."_

_He put something in her hand._

_Kate: „ Gross, little greyish yellow thingies?"_

_She smiled._

_Jack: „No, these are slimy, little, bluish black things."_

_Kate: „Guava seeds."_

_Jack: „What's a garden without guava?"_

-Flashback End–

And then she realized that he was gone. Jack would never come back. He would never hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay again. So Kate fell onto her couch and began to cry.

* * *

_Next time: The funeral_

_ Please leave a review  
_


	2. The Funeral

**Well, finally I managed to end it. I had such a hard time writing this chap. I mean at the start I had so many good ideas. Like using the lyrics of I´m Sorry by Tommy Reeve, but it just didn´t work right. So here comes the funeral. **

**Disclaimer: I don´t own Lost. I just own my Lost DVD´s. ; ) **

* * *

The Funeral

It was a nice saturday at fall. Everywhere were red, brown and even a few left green leaves lying on the sidewalks and in the gardens. The sun was shining and many kids were playing in the streets. So for sure it was a wonderful day. But it wasn´t for Kate Austen.

She was standing in her bedroom, looking into a big mirror and she saw herself in a black dress, her hair pinned up. She grabbed her stuff and left the room. In the kitchen Kate took a glass and poured some wine into it. _When, when not now? I´m going to a funeral.´_ She made an excuse to herself. Then she went through the corridor, took her keys and opened the door. Slowly she took a deep breath. It was like finally getting air after a long time drowning. Kate went into the car and started it. She sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Then she drove off.

* * *

When Kate arrived at the cemetery, she saw a bunch of people standing at the entrance. She could make out Claire with her blond hair, holding Aaron by her right hand. Of course Hurley had come, and there were Sun and Jin standing. Beside them their two year old daughter. Sayid stood in front of a car, beside him a woman. Nadia. Kate had heard about her. After all Sayid had found love again. She smiled and got out of the car.

Hurley was the first one who saw her.

"Kate" he yelled at her direction. "There you are. We thought you would be one of the first ones here."

"Why´s that?" Kate asked

"Because, you know, you and Jack were-close." Hurley answered nervously, now standing in front of her.

"Right" Kate responded sadly.

"Hey it´s great to see all of you again." Kate said to everyone and waved her hand. Sun left her daughter with Jin and hugged Kate. "Oh, Kate. I´m so sorry. How are you?" She asked concerned.

"I´m fine. Thanks"

"Really? We haven´t heard from you for a while."

"I had a lot to do. But it´s good to see you again. And your daughter. She´s so cute. And she´s looking exactly like you." Kate said trying to change the subject.

Sun smiled. "Everyone keeps saying that. I guess it´s true then."

"So, when does it start?" Kate asked.

"Oh we´re just waiting for Rose and Bernard. They have to fly from New York to L.A.."

"Okay, anyone else?" Kate wanted to know.

Sun looked at her questioning. "Are you expecting someone?"

"Oh no. I was just thinking. Maybe-. Just forget it." Kate responded.

_What were you thinking? That he would come here. All the way. Just for Jack. No.´_ She shook her head and kept talking to Sun, without noticing that she was the one the others were talking about.

* * *

"She seems to be okay." Sayid said.

"Yeah, okay, but so– different." Hurley replied.

"Like she never cared about him at all."

"C´mon, we know that she´s a good actress. Maybe she just wants to stay though." Jin threw in his opinion. He had learned english in the last years.

"Who told her anyway?" Hurley wanted to know.

"I did." Claire said silently. She haden´t said much at all at this morning. She was wearing a black dress, her arms and shoulders covered with a grey cloth. Claire had unmistakable had a few hard days. She wished that there would be someone who cold help her, like Charlie. But Charlie was gone. Dead. Just like Jack. It had been a huge surprise when they had found out that they were siblings. But they had accepted it and grown close. But not close enough. Yes, Claire blamed herself. For not helping Jack. For not seeing his pain. But it Haydn´t been her fault.

"Claire!" She was interrupted in her thoughts.

"Sorry, what were we talking about?" Claire said looking puzzled.

"How did Kate take that Jack is dead?" Sayid said his arm pulled around Nadias waist.

"Actually really good. I mean she had some kind of shock but I was the one who was crying. I´m wondering myself now about that. Today she´s acting so-cold."

"I wouldn´t say cold. She has just build up her walls again." Hurley interrupted her.

„Yeah, that´s it. But why? Why can´t she grief for him?" Sayid responded.

"Maybe she´s afraid?" Nadia said. She didn´t knew Kate very well, but she had heard a lot about her. And she knew how it felt to loose a loved person.

"Afraid of what?" Claire asked.

"Beeing vulnerable."

* * *

Kate thought it would never happen but after at least half an hour a taxi stopped in front of Kates car. Rose got out followed by her husband.

"Come on Bernard, we´re already late." She said impatiently.

"I´m coming, I´m coming." He replied, rolling his eyes. They went right into the direction of the group of people who were now standing together.

"Hey, everyone. Sorry that were late, but all the traffic. I´s horrible. But how are all of you? It´s good to see you again even if it is because of such a terrible reason."

"It´s great to see you two!" Sun replied. "Well, I think everyone´s here. We should start."

Kate started to move forward, following Sun who seemed to know were they had to go.

What the heck am I doing here. I can´t bury him. I can´t.´ Kate thought, but she kept going forward. She wouldn´t run. Not now. She had to be strong. For Jack.

"Freckles!" She heard a familiar voice shout. Could it really be him. She didn´t want to turn herself around, in case that it was just some kind of imagination. She couldn´t bare to be disappointed again. But she did turn around. And there he was standing, like he hadn´t done anything else for years. He, the only person that would probably understand her now. He. James Ford. Sawyer.

He walked over to her, smiled and pulled her into a soft embrace. And for the first time since Kate had been told that Jack was dead she felt save again. In the arms of another man. And she finally let herself break down. She let the tears cascade down her face.

"You´re here." She whispered. "Thank you."

"Hey," He lifted up her chin with his right hand, forcing her to look straight into his eyes. "of course I´m here. Do you really think I´d miss the docs funeral?" He saw the tears in her eyes. "Hey, don´t cry." Kate looked at him blinking. "I know. But I can´t help myself. Why did he do that. I don´t get it." She whispered within a few sobs. Sawyer pulled her close again and rubbed her back. "Shh, he must have had his reasons. And from what I´ve heard he hadn´t had the greatest time after the rescue. Now come on. You can do this." Kate nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay. I´m ready."

The others had waited for the two of them to catch up and now they were standing in front of a grave. They had decided to do the funeral just like the ones on the island. Everybody was supposed to say a few words.

Sun and Jin would be the first ones. They made two steps forward and Sun started to speak.

"Jack Shepard was a great person. He made mistakes, but he was always the one who repaired them again. He had always an open ear for others. We´re really going to miss him. Goodbye Jack." Jin took a hand full of sand and let it trickle down into the grave. Sun laid a flower onto the coffin and they walked a few meters away.

Now it was Sayids turn. He and Nadia got in front. "Jack saved all our lives. He was our leader, thought he never really wanted to be. The world has lost a great man. Goodbye Jack." Slowly Nadia let the sand fall and they followed Sun and Jin.

Hurley looked at Claire and she nodded at him. "You go first." When Hurley started to speak they could see the tears in his eyes. "Jack, you were a great friend. You always-. You were-." His voice broke. He took a deep breath. "Goodbye Jack." Sun walked over to him, put her arms around him and rubbed his back. "Hey, it´s okay." She whispered.

Claire took a deep breath and walked to the grave. She was shaking a bit, but she wanted to get over with it. "I never told you that when I was a child I wanted nothing more than a brother. And then you came. And I had a brother. And now you´re dead. I miss you. You were the greatest brother someone could ever have wished for." Now she was crying. She kneeled down and put some sand into the grave.

Sawyer looked at Kate. She nodded. "So, Doc. Who would have thought that we were gonna end up like this? I remember that I told you that you´d be the closest thing to a friend on the island. Well, I lied. You were a friend. Maybe the best I´ve ever had. I´m gonna miss you. Goodbye Jack Shepard." He smiled sadly. Then he took a bit of the sand and let it trickle down. He turned around and looked at Kate.

"I´d like to do this alone." She said.

"Sure." He went over to the rest of the group.

Kate kneeled down in front of the grave. She cleared her throat.

"You were the one who told me that we could all start over. Get a new life. But I couldn´t. I just couldn´t. So I kept going like I was used to. Always running. Running away from everything, everyone. Even from you. But you believed in me. You tried to make me stop running. After all these years. And I couldn´t." A few tears were running down her cheek. "I´m sorry. I´m so sorry." Slowly she whipped the tears away. "And then you gave up. Why did you give up, Jack? This is all my fault. But I promise you, right now, that I will start over. I will, because I´ve loved you. I´ve loved you all along. I promise. Goodbye Jack."

Slowly Kate got up and let the sand fall into the grave. She sighed and then turned around. Kate moved into the direction of her friends. She smiled sadly as Sawyer pulled her arm around her again. She would start her new life. She didn´t know how, but Kate knew that she would start her new life.

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review. I´m happy even if you agree with me that it wasn´t my best one. Just give me something.  
**


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